Is it necessary to control anger? The answer is no! Controlling anger is not the best option, and repressing it is also not a good solution.
Confused? I will make this clearer.
When you are angry, and you try to control the anger, one or more things might happen:
You will bottle up your anger, which is very unhealthy.
You will fight your anger, which means that you will focus your attention on it, trying to restrain it. However, what you focus on grows. So, though you try to control your anger, you get the opposite result.
Focusing your attention on controlling anger leads to inner fights, more attention paid to the anger, and consequently, more anger and frustration.
Anger Is Best Controlled Indirectly
There are several things that you can do to avoid getting angry, or if you get angry, not let the anger grow.
I have provided simple tips in my overcoming anger and finding inner peace.
These tips can help you calm down, and they can help you prevent anger from culminating. You can use them in the various situations you encounter in your day-to-day life.
However, anger often rises over and over again, and you will need to use these tips and methods repeatedly.
- Isn’t it better to be able to avoid anger altogether?
- You might be asking, is there a way to stay calm and not let people and external situations make you angry?
- Is it possible to stay calm and relaxed in your everyday life and at the same time act with energy, inner strength, and inner power?
The answer to all these questions is “YES.”
However, like all the good things in life, you need to spend time and energy and train yourself. You can rise above anger and not be disturbed by it, no matter what happens, by developing a certain degree of emotional detachment and inner peace.
Emotional Detachment and Inner Peace
When you possess emotional detachment and inner peace, you hardly need to control anger, because your mind would learn to stay calm, naturally and easily.
This is a gradual process that requires inner work. As the emotional detachment and inner peace grow, anger will lose its power over you.
At first, you will begin to be more aware when anger arises, and it would be easier not to get involved with it. Sometimes, you will feel, as if the anger does not belong to you.
As you continue to make progress, you will be able to detach yourself from anger, and it will begin to lose its hold on you.
What Is Anger?
- It is an emotional response to situations and people.
- It is a feeling caused by the discrepancy between what happens and your expectations.
- This is a negative feeling that rises when you don’t get what you want.
- It is a feeling evoked by fear, jealousy and frustration.
- People feel angry when they are threatened.
- People feel angry when they feel they are being ridiculed, and when they are not treated fairly.
- When someone talks aloud, he or she often create anger in other people.
- Failure, unhappiness and lack of satisfaction also lead to anger.
- Delays and frustrations are also among the reason that lead to anger.
Anger might sometimes makes you more assertive and gives you the energy and motivation to make things right. This, to some extent, might be useful, but not always.
It makes you to act irrationally, endanger yourself and others, and make you feel bad. In these situations it is completely unnecessary.
You need to exercise some self-control and discipline to get rid of it.
One of the best techniques for overcoming anger is to learn to be more peaceful and emotionally detached.
What we are talking here about is not repressing anger or fighting anger. These methods increase anger. We are talking about developing a peaceful mind and the skill of emotional detachment.
In this way, anger loses its power.
This article does not substitute professional help.
The purpose of the article is just to give some ideas and understanding about what is anger, and point to certain working solutions that might not appeal to everyone, i.e., emotional detachment and inner peace.
About the Author
Remez Sasson is the founder of SuccessConsciousness.com, a leading resource for personal growth and self-transformation. With decades of experience in self-improvement and meditation, Remez has empowered countless individuals worldwide to unlock their potential.
Join him on an extraordinary journey to self-improvement, success, positivity, inner peace, meditation, clarity, and personal mastery through his articles, books, and the comprehensive resources on his website.